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16 signs that you are in a serious & matured relationship
It is one thing to be in a relationship, it is another to be in a matured relationship. Some people date for the fun, company and for the sake of dating even when they are not ready or matured enough.
Other times, some relationships could have started immaturely but eventually get to the stage of maturity. While some are matured from the onset depending on the people involved and nature of the relationship.
It is very important for every relationship to get to this level of maturity because a matured relationship has a greater chance of leading somewhere and lasting more compare to an immature one.
Maturity is putting the other person’s happiness and fulfilment ahead of yours. Always considering their welfare. It also means standing up for yourself and not making decisions that hurt the relationship.
A good relationship should make your life easier. It doesn’t mean there aren’t hard days and it doesn’t mean that you are constantly demanding that the other person is doing things for you.
But if you are both invested in working at your relationship, it really does make life easier and more enjoyable. Here are some signs that you are in a matured relationship worth holding on to.
16 signs that you are in a serious & matured relationship
You are exclusive and defined
In the course of growing up, You must have probably been in one or two relationships where you both were more or less a couple but it was never defined.
You could call that a relationship because you were still young and immature but well it gets to a stage where you realize the importance of the definition.
If a relationship isn’t defined and exclusive, it’s almost like the first sign of immaturity and it doesn’t necessarily count. So, a matured relationship needs to be defined and exclusive.
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Consideration
Just like I mentioned earlier, maturity in a relationship involves considering your partner before doing certain things.
Normally love makes this easy because when you actually love someone their happiness becomes your happiness.
So you wouldn’t want to do anything at the detriment of their feelings. Even in the slightest things you always consider them because you now think “We” and not “I“.
See also: 8 negative effects comparison has on you and your relationship
Not holding back
You don’t wait for him to write/call first, and he doesn’t think that it’s a game of cat and mouse. You do whatever the hell you please, and he is receptive to the interest you show, the time and emotions you invest in him.
A relationship where you do not have to hold back your feelings and certain love gestures just because you do not want to feel like you are much more in love or that you are overdoing.
In a matured relationship you wouldn’t need to do that because both your energy would match each other. Also, the vibe you get when you do those wouldn’t make you feel stupid for doing so.
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Ability to compromise
A relationship with total unwillingness to compromise is probably not a relationship because at some point or the other you would have to compromise and slightly discomfort yourself for your partner.
It’s all part of the sacrifices. When the relationship ain’t a serious one then there would be no need. However, in a serious and matured relationship, there would be compromise at one point or the other.
Must read: 7 vital things you should never compromise in a relationship
You are straight forward
You are both open about your feelings and thoughts even when the issue seems hard to talk about. You are straight forward and not cunny. You are honest. You don’t leave your partner guessing.
Comfortable silences
There are relationships where if the two of them are together and not talking or doing anything together, it begins to get really awkward. That’s neither a healthy nor matured relationship.
In a matured relationship, you both are able to have comfortable silences. Where you can both be together, not say a word but walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
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Healthy arguments
You don’t argue every little thing. Couples who argue at the slightest things are bound to fail. If you and your partner are in a relationship, where all you do is argue. Then it’s not healthy.
What is healthy however is when you have arguments that allow you to see the point of view of your partner. It helps you to grow as a person as well as them.
Fighting fair is about understanding your partner’s point of view and compromising in finding common ground. It isn’t about winning or even making a point.
It’s about taking an issue you disagree on and finding a way to move forward in a way you both can live with. You argue less and DISCUSS more.
The ability to discuss disagreements in a constructive way.Each person listening to the concerns of the other and attempting to come to a reasonably equitable compromise.
See also: Are Relationships all About Compromise?
Respect
Even in a relationship where both partners are very playful with each other, there is still some level of respect. In a matured relationship both partners respect each other.
Even during arguments, you can disagree with them but respect their opinion. Do not introduce serious foul languages. You just respectfully disagree if you have to.
You would not always see from the same perspective but still, it should not escalate to the point of disrespect. Being able to correct each other nicely. You respect personal boundaries. You appreciate similarities but respect differences.
Alone Time
The moment you are both OK with alone time is the moment your relationship crosses into the realm of maturity. Not only does spending time apart mean your relationship has healthy boundaries, but it also means there is a decided lack of co-dependence.
You can both be together and be doing completely different things and it’s okay. You both allow each other to do things you love without the other and there aren’t any issues with that, you both respect each other’s time, efforts, opinions, etc.
Healthy communication
The communication is as clear as possible. You freely talk about things without the feeling of “I’m talking too much or do they care” etc. You do not think too much.
You are happy to run to them with stuff on your mind. You are able to tell them what’s up with you without having to be dragged to do so. You Are comfortable.
Communication doesn’t only involve talking alone but being able to listen. Also, being able to talk and open up freely to your partner without feeling awkward because there is a shared interest.
Communication that involves comprehension. Understating it from their point of view and how they feel. Not making them feel stupid.
Must read: The types of fight every couple has in a marriage and how to solve it
Support Eachother
Instead of being intimidated by each other’s success, you feel an overwhelming desire to see your partner succeed. If that means pitching in whichever way you can, then so be it. You know they’d do the same for you.
You both are a support system for each other. You go the extra mile to support their dreams and aspirations in whatever way you can and they do the same.
You both pitch when you can, need to or necessary, it could also be in terms of chores/responsibility. You don’t spend every weekend cleaning while they veg on the couch.
This support could also come in the form of prayer. You both having the urge to pray for each other shows how matured and serious you both are about the relationship.
See also: The role of each partner in a relationship
You don’t act out unnecessarily
You both know you can’t help it if someone else finds one of you attractive. As long as the person in question responds in a way that makes it clear they’re off the market, neither of you freaks out or sulks, and it certainly doesn’t turn into a fight. So you shouldn’t pay so much attention to people’s countenance towards your partner.
Obviously others would also see what you see in them especially if they are very attractive but their response is what matters most. Even though it much more difficult not to get a little jealous sometimes but there would be no need to act out.
You feel stable and secure
This could come in the form of mutual trust. When you both choose to trust each other. You feel more secured.
You’re fine with being apart with each other for periods of time. Without the constant fear of they will cheat on you or they are cheating.
Feeling stable and secure could also come in the form of not constantly getting worried the relationship is about to end. You can both see a future together and you’re optimistic about it.
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Being able to playfully tease each other
As irrelevant as this might sounds, it’s very important. It lights up the mood and makes you both close and comfortable with each other. The ability to laugh with one another and laugh at each other.
People are in relationships where they can’t even tease and make jokes with their partner. Everything always seems official. Well, relationships like that often don’t last.
Also, you should be able to differentiate the things you can tease your partner with and the things that you shouldn’t. Know what they won’t take lightly.
Putting down your pride and ego
We live in a generation where people just give up, they make no effort. So it is important when you find someone who is willing to break the cycle and not hide or act.
If you value someone and don’t want to lose them then make it known to them, there’s nothing wrong with that at all. You are being genuine.
But lots of relationships miss this because of pride and ego. So when two people in a relationship are willing to put away these pride and ego. It shows some level of maturity, love and seriousness.
See also: 7 important Factors to consider before sharing secrets in a relationship
Futuristic
In an adult relationship, plans can be made months in advance without stopping to wonder where the relationship will or won’t be.
You don’t avoid talks about marriage. You know where you both stand on the matter concerning marriage and children.
As in, whether you’d each like to have them. Also falling under this important-issues umbrella: where you’d like to settle down, how you both feel about marriage,
These topics usually arise naturally, so avoiding them like the plague is a giveaway you might not be in the most grown-up relationship.
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