The types of fight every couple has in a marriage and how to solve it
Hi guys. Today on relationship matters, we’ll be discussing the types of fight every couple has in a marriage and how to solve it.
Earlier, we discussed the roles of partners in a relationship/marriage and the mistakes in marriage (where I explained why your marriage is not the mistake).
Today, we’ll be looking at something similar, yet dissimilar. Similar in the sense that mistakes couples make and the type of fights every couple has can both end a marriage. However, it’s dissimilar in the sense that mistakes couples make can be avoided but the chances of avoiding the types of fight every couple has in a marriage are slim. So, let’s cut to the chase.
A marriage is a union of two people. At such, quarrels, arguments and fights might set in now and then. The types of fights in relationships are numerous. By fight, I mean any form of arguments in marriage; constant fighting in a relationship; fighting with spouse all the time etc. These fights are bad for one’s relationship.
It’s not uncommon to see singles ask questions like why do couples fight, why would one fight with his/her significant other etc. From the outside, it seems like couples fight over nothing. When one get it you’ll realize why it seemed like couples fight over little things.
It’s good you know why couples do fight in marriage before you get into one. Read along, and as a bonus, I’ll give you husband wife fight solution tips.
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The types of fight every couple face in marriage
1. The fight over money
This fight is common in all forms of relationships including friendship. If both partners have different ideologies on how to save, spend and invest money, there is bound to be a problem. It’s good for a couple to sit and discuss how their financial life should pan out be. Communication helps.
I won’t be wrong if I say this fight about money has to do with keeping all accounts and properties separate. Remember you guys are a couple, not roommates. There should be some common ground in both of you guys financial lives. I know merging all accounts can also do more harm than good, but it’s still the best bet. When both parties know the exact amount of money they have, they won’t be any trust issues. it helps promote unity even in their financial decisions.
2. The fight over parenting
Both parties must have taken a different route when it comes to how they were brought up. While one may have been raised by strict parents, the other might be from soft parents. This could be as a result of different cultures having different principles for raising children. Failure for a couple to understand these differences could be catastrophic. While one feels the child has to be scolded or punished for an offence, the other might feel talking to the child is a better decision.
For this reason, disagreement starts setting in on how they can best raise their kids. I’ll advise couples to take parental lessons together before having their first child. This will help streamline them to a particular way to effectively bring up their children without breaking the bond of marriage.
3. The fight over intimacy
Though this might not surface if courtship lasted for a long time, be rest assured it something each couple has to deal with in marriage. It cut across attention, communication, sex etc. Each partner has a level of attention he/she needs and when not given such attention, problems start setting in.
I’ll advise that couples always find time to discuss with each other. This will go a long way to building intimacy. When it comes to sex, always try to please your partner to the best of your capability. You won’t want to lose your marriage because of differences when it comes to sex.
4. The fight over household chores
Household chores are most times stressful. It’s very difficult for one person to start and finish domestic chores without being stressed out. It’s good for each partner to play a part in household chores to ease the stress on his/her spouse. If need be, you can agree to pay for the services of someone to do the chores if schedules are tight for both parties.
5. The fight over control
This happens to be a fundamental human trait. But thanks to sound reasoning, all sane human knows that it’s not right to be in total control over your partner. It’s a marriage, not a master and slave relationship. If you’re with someone that likes to be in control 100%, run for your life. Similarly, if you are the controlling type, do well to change.
Only a few people can cope with a complete dictator. Also, I’ll advise that each partner should know his/her place in the relationship. The husband is always the head of the home. These come with some inherent respect. If as a wife, you think otherwise, it’s high time you change your school of thought. Don’t lose your marriage over irrelevant things like pride and stubbornness.
6. The fight over extended family
This is very common in Africa. You see both parents trying to make sure the kids spend more time with his/her family. More often than not, it results in dispute. Also, this fight is evident in wife and mother inlaw disagreement. The man then needs wisdom not to pick sides when trying to settle such a dispute.
Though the family is important, couples should spend more time alone and less time with each other’s family. This will help reduce the level of disagreements especially when you know the kind of family you are coming from. There are certain things you can take from your spouse that might disgust your parents when they are around. Also, learn to settle your differences yourself rather than taking them to your parents.
7. The fight over the choice of friends
The moment you get married, know you’ve got a new father/mother as the case may be. Be ready to reduce your cycle and also the time spent with this cycle. Failure to do that means you’re inviting trouble to your home. Your spouse would only want to see you with friends he/she can trust. I’ll advise you to obey your spouse decision or explain to him/her if you feel he/she is someone you can genuinely call a friend. Trying to fight your spouse over this would do more harm than good.
8. The fight over belief and faith
This can end a marriage in a heartbeat. I’ll advise you to marry someone with similar faith and belief, to protect your sanity. Marriage isn’t always about “I love you” anyways.
Now that we’ve seen the fights that every couple has in a marriage, let’s take a look at how to solve the fights every couple has in a marriage
How to solve the fights that every couple has in a marriage
Communication
This is all that matters and needed. All the aforementioned fights except differences in faith and belief have the potential of being resolved by simple and proper communication by both parties. Also, learn to always localize your fight and not globalize it. What I mean is that your fights should remain indoor. On no account should you let it get to a point that third parties get involved. Third parties include family members, don’t forget that.
Also, take advice from your parents and other happily married couples. This doesn’t mean you’ll build your home like theirs. However, you’ll have a lot of things to gain from their various advice. Stay safe and have a happy married life.
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